nicole alexandra. (thecrowobsessed) wrote,
nicole alexandra.

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stars are falling all for us...

it's been a while since my last post
and well this post won't be a happy update.
i'm updating to keep my brain from exploding
and my tear ducts from being excessively overworked.

the topic of my post, unfortunately: david.
we've actually been hanging out quite a bit,
and i've gotten the very flirty vibe,
but ah yes, he has a girlfriend; CLAIRE.

i thought i was over him,
i still had the urge to hold his hand or kiss him
but we got into a fight tonight
and when torie & i got in the car...
your guardian angel, by red jumpsuit apparatus,
OUR SONG, was on the radio.
i immediately fiddled around with the buttons,
and changed the fucking station.
I get home, find myself listening to that song,
and I am fucking SOBBING.
Like a pussy ass little bitch, sobbing.
It was pathetic & utterly disgusting.
I'm sitting here, crying at 1am over a 17 year old BOY?!
are you kidding me here?
I don't understand myself.
I want a real relationship, with someone mature,
with goals, with a life, in college,
I want a MAN not a little BOY,
and what? I'm bawling over a boy.
I'm fucking head over heels for a child.
Are you kidding me? what the fuck is wrong with me?
I understood all the others I fell for,
But this one, still has me twisted.

I've fallen & I can't get up.
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